I’m just not very vocal about it but, yes, I do have ambitions. Ambitions which I am not comfortable to announce to the whole wide world. Like one time XXX asked me about my plans of getting a new  job and since I wasn’t  sure if I want to share the details, I just said “I don’t know.” This annoyed her and she started to preach about how she hates people like me who don’t know how to dream and are just contented with mediocrity. I kept my mouth shut and I didn’t defend myself.

Stupid me! But I guess, I’m just painfully shy and a very private person. And besides, I’m too lazy for debates and arguments. Or maybe, some people are just plain insensitive and conceited. Haha.

Anyway, these are my wishes:

• Take my family to a white beach. Not necessarily Boracay because I heard it’s pretty expensive there. Maybe to Pagudpod, Ilocos. Or wherever is cheaper.
• Buy a desktop, swivel chair and a small study table. I want to have a mini home office.
• Travel to a foreign country on my own and have a blast. Of all my dreams, I really hope God will grant me this. Ever since I was a child, I’ve dreamed of seeing Paris, France. The mere thought is enough to make me feel kilig.  I also hope to visit New York, Tokyo, Manchester, and Sto Irini. Lord, please … I promise to be nice
• Invest in a franchise business. Can’t forget about Zagu.
• Write a novel which will become an international best seller. Well, it’s 50-year plan LOL and I believe there is no harm in dreaming big time.
• Buy a set of diamond jewelries for my mother.
• Buy a Mitsubishi Adventure for my brother. It’s not his dream. It’s my dream for him.
• Help my sister put up her dream business - mini grocery.
• Take my niece and nephew to Hong Kong Disneyland.
• Travel around the Philippines with my best buddy - Mabel P.
• Buy a 100 sqm house and lot for my mother. Ever since Dad passed away, we’ve been constantly moving from one place to another, kinda NPA (No Permanent Address).
• Take a short course in culinary. At my age of 27, I still don’t know how to cook. Hehe. This is my father’s gift to me and my sister. He never wanted us to do heavy household chores until we get married. He believes that single girls should sleep whenever they want and just enjoy life because according to him “when you become a wife and a mother, your life will turn around 360 degrees.” We’re just poor but Dad spoiled us in every way he can! Yeah, my friends are annoyed when I told them about this. Anyway, I want to learn Filipino cuisine and baking. And if my skills will permit it, I want to learn French cuisine, too!
• Spend a whole day in a spa/salon.
• Buy a jewelry set from Tiffany and Co. and a bag from Hermes Paris and a pair of shoes from Manolo Blahnik. I won’t really mind if these wishes wouldn’t be granted. I’m not exactly materialistic. But since I see other women desiring for such branded items, I think I want them for myself, too. Haha. Gaya-gaya! I’m very happy and contented with my Divisoria items. To be able to purchase things from those brands will be a bonus
• Be filthy rich to be able to provide high caliber lawyers to those who cannot afford them. I’ve seen injustice so many times and it gets really frustrating to see the oppressed and I couldn’t do anything to help them.

What else? For sure there are a lot more. I’m just hungry right now that’s why I couldn’t remember my other dreams …

lunchtime …

To sum it up, I realize that when you reach the age of 27, 28, 29 … and above, you start to look back at your goals when you were 17 and begin to worry that some of your ambitions weren’t achieved. I’m not really afraid of growing old. I’m scared of growing old without any achievements.

Wish lists like this are somewhat scary. A year from now I would like to read this post again to check which of my goals are met and which are not. I think what matters most is I know how to dream. Fair-weathered friends will measure my successes through materials things but sincere friends see the more important things in life. Which is how you fight for your dreams without having to put other people down.

I’m not going to waste my time with them anymore. Enough said.

Turning 27 is the turning point of my life …

1. So, I’m 27, single and broke.
2. Number 27 sounds very ugly. Especially when friends and neighbors are asking me “when are you going to settle down?” or “When are you going to have a boyfriend?”
3. Facebook makes me sad. I honestly think it’s just a place to show off one’s successes and achievements. Obviously, I have nothing to boast about that’s why I’m bitter
4. Bought 5 pieces of skirts to cheer up myself. I love skirts but the last time I wore one was 4 years ago. People told me I have a beautiful pair of legs and after that I didn’t want to wear skirts anymore. One of the many things that makes me a weirdo. Ha ha ha.
5. Last Sunday, I decided to never marry. This marriage thing is simply not for me. I’m a weird, crazy woman who has her own world and no man in his right mind is ever going to love my personality.
6. So, what was the deciding factor? Nothing. I just woke up one rainy day and realized this is my destiny: to stay single for the rest of my life.
7. Not marrying means I’ll never experience sex. Is that a big issue?
8. Not marrying means I’m not going to have my own kids, too. My heart is crying. I may not be the wifey material but I’m quite sure I’m going to be a good mother.
9. I love little kids. I love my nephew. I love my niece. I am a mother by heart.
10. Two days ago, I was two hours late for my work. I made my officemates laugh so hard. Can’t blame them, really. I’m irresponsible, care-free, and all. Some people find me amazing while some think I’m … a trash. Hehehe.
11. Needless to say, I’m not happy with my job. How I wish I could tender my resignation today but I can’t. Not until I’ve saved enough from blogging and freelance writing. I’m not sure when it’s going to happen but I’m crossing my fingers. I don’t want to stay here forever …
12. I love working online. I love being a freelance writer. This is the best thing that ever happened to me.
13. My latest writing assignment was about weddings. They think my articles are fantastic, creative and original. To be honest, I think I should be receiving more than 2 dollars per 300 word article.
14. The only thing I don’t like about writing is the deadline. I hate turn around time. I’d like to do things at my own pace. I have my own time. I don’t like the feeling of being rushed … of being mandated.
15. This made me realize that I also can’t stay in freelance writing forever. I should think of a better way to earn money. I don’t want to have a boss.
16. But I like my boss. She’s always been nice to me. Sometimes, I feel like I’m her favorite.
17. I should really save my earnings from odesk to be able to put up my own business. But what kind of business? Aahhh … I know. I want the kind that wouldn’t require me to wake up early and go home late
18. I’m in love with someone and that person is in love with me, too. I should know. I’m 27. I wasn’t born yesterday. But I’m not going to entertain this feeling. For some reason, this feeling is just a waste of time. No, he’s not married and he has no girlfriend yet. What’s wrong with me?
19. Admittedly, I’m picky. I’m choosy. I set my own standards. I have my own protocol.
20. Funny is I have no right to be picky. I’m ugly. I’m weird.
21. I’m shy. Extremely shy.
22. I can’t even find the courage to view his profile in Facebook.
23. Now I’m acting like a 14-year old girl.
24. Another good reason why it’s so difficult to like me.
25. But there are a few people who adore me with sincerity. Can you believe that?!
26. Truth is, I don’t really care whether they like me or not. After the incident with my high school friends, I’m kind of not sure anymore if I ever had real friends.
27. Now that I’m 27, I want to concentrate on freelance writing. I want to quit my full-time job as soon as possible. They never did anything bad to me, in all fairness. I just don’t want to be called as “the girl who has no dreams” for the rest of my life. Especially by someone who is less intelligent than me.

So am I proud of my so-called improvement? No. In fact, it feels awkward when people tell me they can’t believe I’m on time for work. It makes me think that they are so used to my tardiness that I’ve already lost my right to come on time Or maybe I’m just guilty. They actually didn’t say “they can’t believe,” just sort of “wow, you’re so early, do you have a fever?” Very funny.

I want to change. But it’s not that easy. Especially I have already been labeled as Suma Cum Laude in Tardiness. I can’t change my image over night. Besides, something is telling me I can’t do it. 6AM sharp is just too early to start working! I don’t know. But if you will ask me, it’s like a suicide mission.

So why am I still here? I should have resigned years ago or I should have not accepted this job offer in the first place. The company doesn’t deserve me. So tell me please, is it too late for me not to be late?

This experience not only familiarized me with complicated computer jargons but to be a wise buyer as well. When I purchased my laptop I didn’t ask the supplier about some important details. I didn’t even ask if it has a warranty or not! But I called the supplier and good thing it comes with one year warranty so I’m relieved. Also, they told me about Free DOS but they didn’t tell me about the need of installing another OS, or I simply didn’t ask so they didn’t tell. I think I’m stupid to miss those crucial details. Next time, I’ll make it a point to have a full understanding of the product’s features before buying it.

A friend send me this personality test and I’m quite impressed with the results. This is the real me Test your personality here: http://psychcentral.com/personquiz.htm

Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expects the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

We never experienced having a Christmas tree but it’s okay. We were contented with our home-made ornamental star-shaped lanterns When me and my siblings were much younger, we used to make parols with colored plastics, crepe paper and bamboo sticks. We even put nametags on each lantern and we proudly showed them off to our friends and playmates. My sister who was the most creative among us, even got paid for doing a number of parols for some of our neighbors. 

This coming Christmas, wouldn’t it be nice to have personalized christmas ornaments  ? I chanced upon a website where I can personalize my own ornament in a few easy steps and it’s inexpensive, perfect for people like me who are in a tight budget The website’s name is cafepress.com. They have a lot of creative designs that you will surely love! It’s so fast and easy. Just upload you favorite photo and then choose a template. Make your order now! 

• I get to meet a lot of people and a few nice friends
• I get opportunities to earn money
• It helps me forget about my stressful job
• My posts make me happy! Or my typo and grammatical errors make me laugh hihi
• It gives me something to do when I don’t want to do anything
• It’s a good reason to use my service incentive leaves (of course I wouldn’t tell my boss that I won’t be reporting for work because I need to update my blog, silly)
• It made me realize that my English is not hopeless, just a little erroneous, but not hopeless
• Writing keeps my sanity

And wait, did I say underdog? Well, not exactly. I just couldn’t find the right word as of this minute …

Fortunately, I got the chance to play Super Mario. Thanks to my classmates in high school who introduced me to family computer. Later in college, I discovered that there are a lot of free games in the internet especially in Yahoo. My besfriend and I used to skip lunch just so we can save our allowance for computer rentals. And then, my brother taught me how to play counter strike and dota and he’s still convincing me to play Madden 10 with him. My little knowledge about such webgames made me think that I wasn’t being left behind when it comes to the latest in technology.

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